I finally bit the proverbial bullet and heighed myself to the local plastic crap store and bought the cheapest plastic garbage can I could find (and I realize this totally blows my compact to not buy any new cheap plastic crap, now matter how beneficial to our household). On Sunday afternoon I went to work sawing off the bottom while DJ sat on the can to steady it, insuring that it would never be used for anything other than a compost bin. I really wish I had a working camera right now to document with photos but you're just going to have trust me. By the time I had accomplished this DJ was aching to use the saw so I helped him saw down a small weed tree trying to crowd out an azalea bush. By the time this was accomplished DJ was hot and bored and went inside to watch the second volume of Gatchaman in the AC while I dug out the little-used awl and hammer.
I got as far as pounding one hole into the side of the bin (it is a pretty tough cheap plastic garbage can) before realizing that I would need nigh on one thousand of these holes and risked incurring the wrath of my neighbors, who are generally a quiet, peaceable people but are not above throwing an old shoe or tin can at someone making an insane racket in their driveway. Leaving the bottom on would have provided more stability in making said hole but, alas, design issues like that are best left to the engineers.
So much for the lo-tech strategy; now I have to dig out a pair of safety goggles and find a time when I can drag out the power drill. I got the idea from the City of Nashville's page on Composting but I can't find the part where you have to bury it 6 inches into the ground -- I know I got that idea from somewhere, but I'm going to do it anyway and see what happens.