National Thrift Disco*

*With thanks to James Wesson

It has occurred to me intermittently that there is going to be a f*k-ton of donations being made when some of the restrictions for the coronavirus are lifted to allow donations to thrift store and consignment shops once again. I am both gladdened and nervous about this; as I write, people are going through long-forgotten boxes, closets, sheds - it boggles the mind how much crap - and therefore treasure - people will be unleashing into the reuse stream after we go back to “normal” or some simulacrum.

I’m doing this along with everyone else - my albatross possessions are a blurry mix of my childhood, my son’s childhood, and the constant inflow and stoppage of everyday detritus we bring onto the property. My usual strategy is to create a bolus of things to go to Hospice Attic and when it reaches a certain enormity I take it to the donation area. You’d think that system would make my house a spartan landscape but you would be wrong. Like I said, I am literally shoveling out crap from my son’s childhood.

I have ultimately failed as an environmentalist by buying my child every Nerf gun in existence and then letting them rot out in the carport. And that’s just the name-brand plastic! My task the past month has been to go through and fill contruction-sized bags of plastic debris - it’s mostly broken Nerf guns but there’s also things like LEGOs that can be legitimately returned to the use stream. Mostly, though, it’s junk that is headed to the landfill and did I say it was mostly plastic?