No Sweat is never going to make athletic shoes.

Neither will they make underwear, which is the other thing that's difficult to get used (and impossible to get used to the idea of getting used). I wrote No Sweat and asked them to make athletic shoes and underwear and they wrote back to politely decline and to try to convince me that what I really want is yoga pants. That was two, three years ago. I still don't want yoga pants and No Sweat still doesn't make athletic shoes or underwear.

Here's why I no longer care:

Because it occurred to me that even with a conscientious manufacturer, buying a new item is usually worse for the environment than buying a recycled item. Of course there are lots of exceptions to this. Like if we're talking a 40-year-old fridge vs a new ozone-friendly fridge where just plugging the older item in is equivalent to going out and shooting pandas. But shoes? Definitely better to re-use. I started having recourse to the ninety trillion pairs sitting in Goodwills all over the nation because everybody's squeamish about used shoes. I have not bought new shoes since the one pair of No Sweats I bought a few years ago. My feet show no signs of putrefaction, and I have more shoes in more styles than Imelda. All for a tiny fraction of what new-shoe-buyers spend, plus I'm not encouraging manufacturers to add to the apparel glut and I'm keeping my truckloads of reclaimed shoes out of the landfill and the garbage gyres for, well, given my attitude to shoes, probably the rest of my life. Win, win, win!

So if I want underwear, I try to be extra nice to all the talented seamstresses I know who make underwear out of old T-shirts. If I want athletic shoes, I look and look and look until I find them used. I have also revisited the notion that athletic shoes are necessary in the first place. After all, what did basketballers play in back when basketball was invented? Chuck Taylors. What do the winningest Olympic track stars win their medals in? Their bare dang feet. I think it's just possible that Nike's success is related more to hype than to a decline in injury rates caused by their $98 shoes. If there are any peer-reviewed studies in feet science that say that encasing your feet in a wad of foam prevents injury or improves performance, I want to know who funded the studies. I do not buy it. In every sense of the phrase.

Meanwhile here is Jack Nicholson in 1978 showing off the car that, if we lived in a more awesome world, we would all be driving past the grocery story, where we of course never go.

The Rant on Bathing and Water Consumption

Okay, I'm not a radical environmentalist or even someone who is aggressively trying to find ways to conserve. I do think, however, that we consume way too much of our resources in daily ablutions. When did we start believing that we have to bathe every day? The average American uses 17-24 gallons per shower or bath as per the Water Education Foundation website for kids (and this is based in California so, you know, it's like the movie Chinatown and everything). That's a freakin' lot of water! Look, if you don't work in a coal mine or on a farm or in a sewer (for added irony) don't bathe every day! I know that's hard in some climates like the tropical ones where you feel like a big ball of spit after 5 minutes outside and in desparate need of cleanliness, but I think we can all stand your stinkiness for the sake of saving little over 20 gallons per day. Twenty gallons! That would give drinking water to an entire village in Africa for, like, a month, for Jiminy Christmas!

Okay, can't give up the shower/day? I do 2 different things depending on the level of stinkiness I am up against (and I have a fairly high tolerance for not bathing):
1. I just wash my hair over the tub or in the kitchen sink with the sprayer (if said sink is clean of dishes, which is almost never), turning off the water in between latherings and rinsings, or
2. I get in the shower, wet down, wash my hair really quick and then apply conditioner, turn off the water, soap up and shave, and then rinse all off to squeaky clean-ness as fast as I can. I've heard this referred to as a Navy shower (well, without the shampoo and conditioner mess).

If you want more tips and info on ways to conserve water, there's a handy tip sheet here from The University of Georgia College of Agricultural and Environmental Sciences and the U.S. Department of Agriculture cooperating together and everything.

Energy Efficiency PSA - Fridge

Hey, is there a problem with your fridge? You bet! You've got a hog coming out of your icemaker! I don't think this is really an energy conservation problem as much as a fish and wildlife issue.

Whew! I love my child and a one-day Bataan-style death march through an undisclosed theme park in the middle of August was proof positive. The environment seemed way more frenetic and louder than usual -- within 5 minutes of passing into the main hub I screamed at the old man, "Why is it so dang loud???!" to which my old man yelled back, "because loud equals fun!" We purchased so much plastic crap that I feel like I have to buy a TerraPass to compensate for all of the manufacturing pollution that was probably produced to make it, not to mention the plastic utensils we used and threw away.

Okay, here is my really last rant before signing off until we get back. This is a website to get an overview of back to basics type stuff. Go to New American Dream. This is mostly a consumer action website, but their motto is "More Fun, Less Stuff" (that's on a bumper sticker, too).

Here is my last screed before me and the old man do our parental duty and take our progeny to a certain theme park in reward for learning how to poop on the potty. I know, TMI. This is a busy week with kids starting school and bigger kids about to start school, so things are plodding yet hectic. But, here is my tip for a happy, stress-free life:

Bake your own bread!

It is so easy and fun (for those who are private area to the wall with stuff to do I would even venture to suggest a bread machine) and people really like warm, fresh bread thrust at them when they appear at your door to help you reinstall your toilet. But I digress.

For those who have never made bread or are of the above condition of being too busy to even think about it, here is a starter recipe to try and the name says it all: Outrageously Easy BIG Bread. Can you think of a bread better suited to our frantic lives? I've made bread for years and years and I'm here to tell you this is indeed the easiest recipe for bread that I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. When you go on the Vegweb.com website and start poking around in their recipes, you will find this recipe is the most fabulously popular of all the bread recipes (and there are some tasty looking recipes, let me tell you). So that should tell you something about how easy and great this recipe is. Thanks to B. for putting me on this track to outrageously easy big bread. BTW, her suggestion is to use bread flour (white or wheat) when making this recipe and even 100% whole wheat bread will be big and puffy.

If you find the time to make it, there is nothing better than kneading bread to get your stress level under control, and the feeling of accomplishment when it comes out of your oven smelling all good and looking all brown and big will be a real ego boost, I promise.

Okay, haven't sold you yet on baking your own bread. Then, go to your local bakery and buy bread that someone has lovingly fashioned for you and don't forget to bring your own towel or bread bag to wrap your lovely bread-thing in.